22. Male. Loyola Marymount. Santa Clarita. Prelude. S13. Filipino.
Hi world. I know I never use this anymore, but I feel like today should be a day I look back upon and remember. If future me is reading this, just remember that one day where you woke up and felt a flurry of emotion. The day that you realized where you were at in life, how much of an asshat you may have been to people in the last few months and how completely oblivious you were of certain things, or people.
Today was one of those days I guess. Started off really interesting; completely altering my mood from a day of possible fun, to one where my emotions were everywhere. The last 15 hours have been ridiculous. Anger took over my thought process, and I made a few decisions that may have been more detrimental than actually productive, but you know what…. I’m getting through it. Once I read this again, in some month’s or year’s time, I’ll realize it was all for the best. It may have been something I needed as a wake up call. I’m graduating in four weeks. Crazy, I know. To leave what I have called home for the last 3 to 4 years and go back HOME HOME is going to be a big adjustment. I’m glad for all the people I have met over the years. Today helped me realize that I need people like them in my life. I need to surround myself with people with dreams and aspirations. It’s so amazing to see how much I can learn from others by simply talking to them. Regardless, that’s beyond the fact.
I woke up today and felt like absolute trash. I punched a few walls from anger and hate, some of which was of myself. My hand hurts, a lot actually. I realized that some people can be outright shady, while others can be amazing in anytime of need. I couldn’t believe that even after months of disconnection, I could catch up so quickly with people, and having them help me with the inevitable problems in my life.
Do I feel jealousy? I don’t know. I actually don’t know how to feel right now. I’m trying to numb myself to the experience. I’ve been trying to move on. If you are still reading this, I have no idea what you are doing, as I’m writing this out of nowhere, there is no format to this particular post. And it doesn’t actually serve a purpose except for me to be able to express myself a little.
It’s funny that I’m typing this on Tumblr. I don’t even use this anymore, I guess I just needed a reason to come back to this. I remember all the times in which I would type up huge rants about the problems of freshman and sophomore year, which are completely irrelevant and stupid. Maybe I’ll remember today as one of those days. Stupid and irrelevant to where I will be in life in a few years. Maybe, maybe not. I guess time will tell.